Column

Dear Haters

By Hanna Camella Talabucon

March 10, 2023

 

A wise person told me that some people are so miserably unhappy with themselves that they want everyone else to feel as bad inside as they do.

 

I don’t know if you need to have haters, but usually, when you start getting hate, it’s a sign that you’re doing something important. It also means you’re taking a stand.

 

I’ve worked with various companies before and to tell you honestly, I’ve encountered many different kinds of people, especially in the workplace.

 

Just recently, I’ve noticed patterns among colleagues that are unhealthy and that need to be changed. Lots of people are afraid to speak up or they keep a neutral stance on things, which isn’t very interesting, so people don’t respond to things like that. But I’m not like that. I know I’m not like most people.

 

I immediately noticed what’s the issue and addressed it in a way that others under my supervision wouldn’t be affected. And this caused some hate towards me from the people involved.

 

But I didn’t bother to pay attention to them specifically, for I know I was doing the right thing in taking a stand and protecting others and their mental health.

 

I know I was born with a mouth that cannot remain silent, especially on things that are wrong, unjust, and inhumane.

 

I am a very upfront person – I call a spade a spade and cannot do false praise just to be nice to someone. Obviously, due to this, I have a very restricted friend list. And before, I’ve wondered so many times why some people hate me so much.

 

And the answer is very simple. People who don’t understand you, hate you. That’s it.

 

We all remember the story called “The Emperor Has No Clothes.”

 

It has to do with hubris, people being unwilling to question authority, and the hero we all recall was the little child being unafraid to speak the truth.

 

Everyone wants to be that kid. The problem is that to be that kid, you have to be noticed saying the emperor is naked. Meaning, you ideally should be the first.

 

So, people fall over themselves to be the first to point out X isn’t good, and barring that, the loudest, in the hopes that someone will acknowledge their prescient genius in knowing something popular was bad after all, while the foolish masses still enjoyed it.

 

Between the impulse to be the first to lead the charge against a thing, and the need to change something in the system, prove you’re more “in the know.”

 

And that, in real life, will create hate from people who don’t like how you approach and start to change what’s wrong.

 

Haters hate anything that they are not the center of attention or in control of. Haters hate because they don’t like anyone to succeed or show them up. Haters hate on others to build themselves up. And lastly, haters hate because they can.

 

I want the office to be a safe space where everyone can share ideas, and speak up whenever there’s a problem.

 

I want those who are at fault to be held accountable for their poor treatment of others in the workplace.

 

A funny thing about haters, though. They cannot keep it to themselves. They will always find a way to influence others into hating you.

 

Ever wondered why people, like birds of a feather, flock together? Rule of thumb, people tend to gravitate toward those who share equal amounts of suffering.

 

Anyway, if we had to deal with all the drama, hypocrisy, and ostracism to the point of death, then we shouldn’t feel as if we’ll go through life without enemies.

 

Because no matter how well you treat people, how attractive you are, or how much or lack you have in your bank account, someone will always hate you. It’s inevitable.

 

At this age, I know that every terrible thing that has happened to me in my life was designed for my good. They were tests or trials that I had to or still must overcome if I am to advance to the next level of life. Trials, including those “haters”, strengthen me and teach me to lean further on God to help me navigate through the troubles of life.

 

Because not everyone is spiritually, mentally, or emotionally mature. You never have to tolerate anyone abusing or treating you wrong.

 

And even though it’s harder on some days than others, I thank my enemies. Without them, I would never be blessed.

 

But I make sure to distance myself. I find them limited, uninteresting, and no fun at all.

 

At the same time, I also believe that instead of spreading hate, even fighting back hate with hate, we should be spreading love.

 

This is why instead of investing myself in thinking about what my haters are saying, I spend my time on things that give me peace; friends, a night out, a nature trip, and other leisure.

 

Because responding to them only gives them power. The right reaction to give your haters is none at all. Because when you do not respond or react to your haters, you do not respect them, you do not give them pleasure or your attention and most importantly, you do not acknowledge them.

 

And that will seriously piss them off.