Why is my face too big? Why does my hair have to be frizzy and not smooth like that girl’s? Why can’t i be artistic like them? What do i have to do to have a waist that’s as tiny as hers? If these thoughts or similar ones run across your mind as fast as I run to the kitchen when my mom says the food is ready, then you need a wakeup call! Constantly thinking about your imperfection can only cause mental exhaustion and unhappiness.
Climb aboard a little trip down the memory lane and the destination is, my high school self. Every day in high school I would walk to class feeling like if I was not pretty enough or that I was too big compared to other girls. I would walk around looking confident on the outside, while on the inside I was broken and my self-esteem was at rock bottom. When people meet me at first, I always try to be positive and outspoken. I am always happy in front of others to cover the barrier of what my true feelings are. I know I am not the first girl to ever feel insecure about my weight and appearance, so I wanted to share my story to others and let them know that they are not alone.
I got teased a lot back then because my skin was too dark, I have this thick dark black frizzy hair, I have this eye extra baggage and dark circle looking like a panda how I wish I looked cute like one. I also have this scars around my legs and thighs that most of them called “galis”. I tried to change it all in hopes that I would be enough to be called pretty. Well that sums up my high school life but I hate to break it to you that this story will not end sad or pitiful. As the end of my high school journey approached, there was a big revelation that come to me I thank God for opening my eyes and he makes me see my true self that it’s not just me.
I soon came to realize that changing things did not change the way I felt about myself, so I began to search for a different solution. Over the past years I have finally come to the realization that I don’t have to become lovable, I already am. I don’t have to be good enough for people to like me, I just have to be me. Everyone was born with their own flaws, and not everyone is the same. In fact, I don’t want everyone to be the same. What a boring world that would be! So instead of dwelling on my flaws, I accept them for what they are.
I know it is stupid to some people but I don’t blame them after 7 years and thinking about I had that kind of state of mind makes me cringe and laugh. I realize that true happiness lies within me and it will start if you accept my flaws. So for all my girls out there waste no time and effort changing yourself or searching for peace and contentment and acceptance in other people, love yourself, it’ll take you places. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on.