Many of us find it difficult to accept corrections from our parents, teachers and other people around us. It is harder
We have different kinds of reactions when facing corrections from other people. Some respond by saying a sincere “thank you” while others become so defensive and there are also who don’t care. There were also times that we are thinking to create a counter-accusation against our correctors – for them to make unworthy to give us corrections.
R. W. Emerson said that one of the reasons why we do not like to be corrected is because we feel like we are being “persecuted whenever we are contradicted.” We usually attach correction with criticism; it’s just like we are being judged. I have this observation of those people having a high degree of education and positions that they are these who refuse to be corrected.
Maybe they believe they can never be wrong and they are better than anyone. It’s just like they know everything and they cannot learn from others.
One factor also, I think, why we get so sensitive about being corrected is the way the corrections are being delivered. Sometimes the corrections are served in an unpleasant manner and context. I am once that kind of person who refused corrections and was wearing so much pride; a person who feels hurt when being corrected.
I remember one time, I was in a conflict with one of my sisters or “ate” in church. She scolded me in front of many people because I didn’t notice that my voice was already earsplitting. I felt so embarrassed that I gave her a verbal tussle.
After that day, I started to have a feeling of loathing her and with everything that she does. I was thinking that maybe she was born for the purpose of judging me and giving me a ghastly day.
Since then, I used to call her perfectionist and I have that assuming mindset that whenever she looks at me maybe she is thinking negatively about me or maybe she is planning to bewitch me.
I sensed like she really hates my presence because whenever we have a meeting and every time I will raise some suggestions it’s like that she only attended the meeting just to contradict me and my opinion. It made me feel like I was stupid like I wasn’t good or smart enough.
Until one day, I went to church and I didn’t notice I was sitting beside her and I was not comfortable, but I don’t have any choice because the mass already started.
And it so happened that the homily of the priest that moment is about humility and accepting corrections. I was so guilty when the priest said that it is the sin of pride that makes us so sensitive in taking corrections, that we do not see corrections as a way of discipline and love and an opportunity to learn.
He also brought up a verse that made me guiltier, “Proverbs 9:8 says, “Do not correct a mocker or he will hate you. Correct a wise man and he will love you.” But the line that stuck with me from the homily was that “Wisdom is found on those who
I’ve come to realize that it is not the moment that I was scolded of being noisy and the time that all my suggestions in meetings were rejected and was corrected, that made me feel stupid but the fact that I refused to listen to my sister’s corrections.
After the homily, I still have a guilt feeling and the eagerness to say “sorry” to her but I’m waiting for the perfect timing. So when we were on the part of the Mads, when we have to greet each other a sign of peace by saying “peace be with you”, I’ve turned to her and hugged her with tears on my eyes saying sorry.
And I felt the real peace within me. That experience changed my principles and really one of my best experiences in life. I’ve learned so much about humility and I felt like I was much better than before.
A correction may be difficult to accept because that was a reality of what wrong we did. But try to imagine how difficult it must be for those people to correct us. So when people correct you, try to be objective, set aside your feelings. Being corrected doesn’t mean you are a failure and you are less likely to love.
But correcting is one way of expressing love and concern and also a form of discipline.
I firmly believed that how we react to corrections is a sign of wisdom that we have. Now I feel so much blessed and loved to be corrected by anybody. I see
They said that the corrections that hurt the most may be the correction that you need the most. So don’t miss the opportunity to grow. More corrections, more wisdom.
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