ANGER: Feel it, responsibly

We have lots of emotions: happiness, sadness, disgust, fear, and many others. At various times, we may feel any of those emotions depending on many factors such as the environment that surrounds us.

In this column, I will be focusing in one of the most overrated emotions a person can feel – ANGER.

What is Anger?

According to Dr. Melissa A. Alcazaren, Ph.D., a registered psychologist and the program chair of the Psychology Department of Philippine Women’s University, “Anger is an expression of an individual’s immediate reaction to a frustrating situation, likewise the release of bottled-up emotions from previous unpleasant experiences.”

Anger, just like any other emotions, is a response to our environment. For example, we get angry because we perceive something or someone as unjust, offensive, or threatening to our well-being, or simply because the situation is unfavorable to us.

Maybe some of you think that anger is undesirable in itself. But just like any other emotions, anger is neither good nor bad, it will always depend on how are you going to react or use that emotion – your response matters.

It’s perfectly fine to feel angry at times. In fact, we should never set aside it as it may cause bigger problems. Try to visualize a kettle or a closed pot of boiling water, if you don’t remove it from the stove or from the source of heat, it will start to make unwanted noise.

That what happens to you when you suppress your anger, eventually you might explode and do unpleasant things that you might regret later on.

So what can you do to prevent a closed pot of boiling water from exploding and a kettle from making unnecessary noise?

Aside from removing it from the source of heat, it is also necessary to open the lid of the pot or kettle so that the steam can escape. You must know what triggers this emotion.

Knowing your triggers will not make you unsusceptible from experiencing anger – that’s impossible, because again, it is part of our system. After all, we are all human. Let’s just say that knowing your triggers will just save you from making unnecessary noise by helping you release your bottled-up emotions.

But how? Is there a right way to express your anger?

There can be a lot of things on how you can express your anger the right way. Unfortunately, you will not see (read) it here.  However, I personally think that releasing it in a way that it will not cause harm to anyone, including yourself is enough – perhaps as a good start.

You can express your anger without hurting anyone just like expressing your rants or disappointments about certain issues without degrading anyone who doesn’t share the same opinion as yours.

Another thing I can share with you that could save you from exploding when you are angry and being surrounded by people is to acknowledge the emotion, and let people or at least tell someone close to you that you are angry or already upset with what is happening. That way, you are already releasing that intense emotion and they will also be guided on how they are going to respond to you. At least they will not be surprised if you become quiet or starts acting differently. You may apologize in advance for “not being you,” but never invalidate your emotions.

Please take note that I am not encouraging anyone here to unleash their anger whenever you perceive an unpleasant situation or persons just because it is normal to feel. It is a must that you evaluate the situation, your triggers, and your actions. Never use it as an excuse to hurt anyone including yourself.  Again, the consequences and what you do with this kind of emotion is what really matters. Feel it, responsibly!