Most of the time, we tend to view Gossip or “chismis” as an undesirable behavior one can possess. “Chismis” is any reports or news about someone that is unconfirmed and is passed on from one person to another by someone whom we call a “Chismosa.”
People involved in this “chismis” are the following:
the source/gossiper (“chismosa”),
the listeners or the receiver of the “chismis”, who later on can become the source as well, and
the subject/topic (the one that is being gossiped about). These individuals may also suffer psychologically if they find out that they were being gossiped about.
If we are going to anchor this behavior in today’s context, the concept of “chismis” is really negative. Nobody wants to be a victim of “chismis.” We hate being misjudged by others, and we hate those “chismosa.”
But come to think of it, can you say 100% that you didn’t get yourself involved with this kind of behavior?
I bet you were once intrigued by these phrases from your friends, like:
“Mare, may balita ako…”
“Hoy! May nalaman ako…” or,
“Alam mo na ba ang latest?”
And then suddenly, the flow of curiosity creeps into your mind out of nowhere upon reading or hearing those phrases. Why? Simply because it is knowledge. We are curious, and we want an answer.
According to a famous psychologist, Abraham Maslow, humans need to increase their intelligence and thereby chase knowledge – we want to learn, explore, and discover things to better understand our surroundings.
Some of us hate the act of “chismis” only when we think that we are the subject. But, admit it or not, some of us had enjoyed some of the unsolicited information we obtained from the source as a listener, or maybe you enjoyed sharing info with your listener as a source.
What I’m trying to say is, everyone gossips – we all do “chismis.” But the intention and how we will use the information we obtained from that “chismis” will vary depending on the context of your actions.
“Chismis” is really awful when your intention is, of course, to humiliate or to degrade someone.
But, it is not innately evil. “Chismis” is actually a social skill. We love to talk, and we want to be heard and listened. “Chismis” is part of our culture as it bonds us and creates a connection with other people.
Again, knowledge is power, and what and how we use that information makes a “chismis” bad or good.
The typical bad “chismosa” is someone who creates and shares info about others to harm people and create false and malicious information to make fun of others. They love spreading fake news, and what’s worse is that they tend to believe their lies. They feel superior because of their unconfirmed knowledge and think that they can use it to get ahead of others.
For example, when you tattle your friend behind his/her back to put him/her in a bad light is obviously wicked.
A good “chismosa” (let’s call it “Chismosa, with a heart”), on the other hand, is someone trustworthy, one who listens and discerns information before deciding to whether keep it to themselves or to share it to “inform” others. And if it is needed, a “chismosa with a heart” uses or shares this info only to those they think they can trust.
They will share information not to spread the negativity but more for a good cause like:
To warn, resolve conflict, create and develop social relationships, and the like.
For example, you saw your best friend’s suitor having an affair with someone or maybe courting many other girls. As someone who cares for your best friend, chances are, you will tell your best friend that information to warn her.
Now ask yourself, do you want to become a low-class bad “chismosa” or do you want to be a “chismosa with a heart?”
I will not be focusing on being the former because nobody wants to become one, right?
As mentioned, everyone gossips but, are you doing it right?
Let’s now focus on how to become a good and responsible “chismosa” – a “Chismosa, with a heart.”
Don’t “chismis” for superiority and personal gain.
If you are sharing information about someone just to put him/her in a negative spotlight, then you are doing it wrong. Don’t share news about someone to get ahead of others. We all understand that “knowledge is power,” but not with “chismis.”
Don’t Add/Subtract
Just a reminder, you hate math, so please do not add or subtract any information you wish to share – just share it as it is. Do not tell lies! Always try to share factual info, avoid fake news, and not exaggerate the information because it will add up to your listeners’ confusion and might create negative “chismis”. Remember that the “chismis” we are talking about is the beneficial one.
Choose your listeners
Sometimes it’s not about the information you share but to whom you share it. Assess whether that person is really trustworthy or not – Ask yourself whether the information will remain secret from that person you’re talking about or not.
And of course, the most important thing to consider is,
Think before you “chismis”
Always ask yourself about your goals of sharing the information. Is it beneficial? Will it harm others or not? If you want “chismis” just to fuel negative social interaction that may cause conflict, especially to the one being gossiped about, you better stop.
Disclaimer: Although the author said that there are positive and negative “chismis”. The column doesn’t intend to support those “chismosas” out there to continue being a “chismosa” and spread rumours about something or someone. The author intentionally used the phrase “chismosa with a heart” as a form of entertainment. It is a metaphorical way of saying that we can share information in a good and responsible manner without being a typical “chismosa.” The author only aims to educate the readers about the responsible way of sharing information and avoid becoming a negative gossiper that causes harm to others. If you wish to know more about the topic, you may directly contact the author.
“Tara, chismisan tayo!”
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